


Dissonance

by Schattenfeuer



Category: Nightmare Harem (Visual Novel)
Genre: Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Other, Reader-Insert, genderneutral reader, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:20:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26059387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schattenfeuer/pseuds/Schattenfeuer
Summary: There is no thing worse than love turned into hatred.
Relationships: Lucas/Reader
Kudos: 4





	Dissonance

Sometimes you wondered if he was just playing a part in this whole charade you called a life. If saving Nightmare was just the end to justify the means, if you were a mere pawn in his plan. Of course, whenever you felt those dark thoughts, tinged with rejection and anger, emerge, you were equally quick to temper them, to choke them and push them back into whatever dingy corner they had come from. This was Lucas after all, the same one that looked at you with nothing but adoration in his eyes and a sunshine-smile on his lips. 

But you couldn’t help but wonder, what was the real reason for him shying away from your touch, was it you? Was it his past? You felt helpless and lost and so very angry, abandoned in your wrath with no outlet because it was unjustified and unfair, against you, against him, against everything he sacrificed to make this possible. Your life, the life of Nightmare. Why shouldn’t you pay a little price in that too?

But was it really a small price? You had forsaken your own world, had cut all strings to your family and loved ones and stayed at his side, in a world not your own. And you did it willingly, because his smile lit up your mind, brought the warm and fuzzy feelings that melted your bones into a puddle on the ground, but over time, it was no longer enough. You reached out, gentle at first and with understanding, but when he kept flinching away from even the slightest attempt, you couldn’t help but wonder if it all was just an illusion. So you started to look elsewhere.

Men were always available and willing, no matter which world you were in, all you needed to do was lay on the charm, thick and honeyed sweet, for them to trip over themselves, you tasted many different kisses in the time he was away, acting as the little helper of the future king. And when he returned, you were bitter and vengeful, making him dance to your tune only to reject him before he could do the same to you again. Your heart broke a little bit more every time he looked at you with hurt and disbelief and love, always the love outweighing it all. 

The seeds of doubt had been sown, they were taking root and starting to bloom into hideous, reeking flowers, weeds that took over your heart with thorny vines and stone cracking strength. Your love was morphing into something equally unsightly, something horrifying and angry, as kisses from strangers no longer helped soothe this inner hurt. You started to explore deeper, fell into embraces and beds and left unsatisfied every single time, the moment your current partner had fallen asleep, spent and happy, but not you. 

You felt like a monster, because he knew, you could just see it in the way he seemed to wilt just a little bit more, every time you came home late, reeking of alcohol and perfume not your own. You didn’t even tried to hide it either, your innocence long lost and abandoned like an old coat, this was all his fault, his rejection without explanation had brewed this potent concoction that was bubbling in your veins now, that was eating you alive from the inside out like acid in your veins. You were self destructing and you were taking him down with you. It was the least you could do, after all it was all his fault. 

Had you fallen for anyone, literally anyone else, you doubted that you would have ended up like this, running on the fumes of your formerly pure love and raw spite, while all he did was watch you with sad eyes. Or maybe you would have destroyed your happiness either way, him denying you his body was just the trigger this time around. Who knew, maybe you were born for this, to destroy and drag others down with you, because it was the only thing you were good in. 

A fatalistic sense of glee settled in your mind, in your bones and you started to smile again, yet it was all wrong, all teeth and sharpness, never reaching the ice that had glazed over your eyes. Your new smile scared Kurt off, it made Lucia take a step back and Oswald avoid you like the plague, but it didn’t push Lucas away, yet. He was still there, distant and close at the same time, caught between being repulsed and desperate, left with the desire to fix whatever was wrong with you and freeing himself from the sickness you had become. 

And just like a sickness, you were unwilling to go away silently, you took over your host and started to destroy whatever you touched. Your little trips to town became longer and longer, you didn’t came home between them anymore and everyone knew why, but that didn’t stop him from worrying. You cared even less about the flimsy attempts of hiding your adventures in strangers beds, smudged lipstick staining skin, ruffled clothing clinging to a tired body and hair mused from fingers running through it, you looked and smelled like sex in the flesh and you had a feral kind of pride on your face because of it. 

How long, you wondered, would you be able to push him, to bent him until he broke, until he would drop you like the living, breathing poison that you had become. But instead of doing that, he embraced you tighter and drank you in deep, seemed to resign himself to a loveless, unhappy future in which all he could do was watch. It enraged you, so much that one night, after you caught another glimpse of golden hair in the steadily fading twilight of the dawn, you snapped. 

You could still feel the touch of another man on your skin, taste him on your tongue and feel the warmth between your legs, but instead of giving you grim satisfaction, you now felt like shedding your skin like a snake, you felt as vile and dirty as your thoughts, as they spiralled down a dark path, yet you did nothing to stop either them or your body from chasing after him. He had been watching, you knew it, you could see him from the window of the stranger’s bedroom, right before you closed the curtains in a last act of mercy. 

And you actually found him, not too far away, in a narrow alleyway, forgotten by the town all around you, he stood, slouched over and resting tiredly against a wall. His hair obscured his face, but you could see the small drops of crystalline hurt as they flowed freely and silently, dripping from his eyes like blood out of a wound. Sharpening your claws, you were more than ready to finally plunge them deep into his flesh, to finish what you started so long ago. If you were to go to hell, you would drag him down with you, come what may. 

He flinched as you grabbed his shoulder, he shrivelled and sunk together, as if making himself smaller could make you take pity on him. But not anymore, you glared at him, bared your fangs in a gesture too tense to ever pass as a smile. Lucas didn’t even tried to fight you off, when you grabbed fists full of his hair, when you pulled him down until he was drowning in your eyes, unrelenting and as fickle minded as the ocean itself. The open vulnerability he was wearing so well was making your fingers itch, you wanted to break it, break him, twist the knife until he screamed in pain and heartbreak.

As you forced the kiss onto him, you kept your eyes wide open and fixated on him, fluttering eyelids and melting expression, his hands twitched and settled on your waist, still so gentle despite everything you put him through, still so sweet and kind it made you sick to your stomach. So you bit his lip, hard enough to taint the sweetness of him with the sharp tang of salt and copper, as you greedily drank in his low rumbling moan of pain and twisted enjoyment. 

Uncaring about any eventual passer bys, you let go of golden locks that had once reminded you so much of sunshine and everything bright and happy, instead you went straight for his belt, while pressing against him so harshly, he couldn’t even take a full breath. You were done playing around and if you were the evil one anyways, it was high time for you to take what you always wanted anyways. He whimpered when your fingers skipped over his hips, only to dip lower, into his loosened pants and when your hand wrapped itself around him, he recoiled violently, gasped with lips stained crimson. 

Your pleasure was a cold one this time around as you started to move, to grind your thigh against his loins and your hand inside his pants, your eyes fixated on the broken expression playing so beautifully across his fine features, part of him begging for more, part of him hating what was happening, you took it all and drank it in deep, like one would do with a finely aged wine. It didn’t even took long, before he was warm underneath your loveless touch, only a moment longer and his head was falling against your shoulder, his hands pulling at the fabric of your clothing in a vain attempt to keep you off of him. 

Your free hand yanked hard at his hair, made him look at you, your apathetic, cold expression, while he was being torn open, exposed in the cruellest of ways and taken advantage of in cold and broken gestures. Just as broken as his voice as he mumbled half phased declarations of love to you, just as shattered as the look in his eyes, grief stricken and hurt and so very loving, while he was freezing to death in the coldness of your embrace. 

A moment longer and you were done with him, felt him shake from the force of unwanted pleasure that your hand had wrung out of him, but you refused to keep him standing, stepped back with a sneer of disgust on your features, while he curled up in shame and grief, hiding his face behind his hands and knees, silently taking your wordless punishment like it was a divine thing. 

The last time you saw him was in that back alley, as he sat curled up against the wall, pants open and a mess, tears staining his pretty features while he tried to work through what had just happened. The dissonance between the love in the beginning and the hatred of the end was tearing him apart, so much so that his heart could no longer stand it. 

In the end you were left with only one question and no answer. Was it all worth it?


End file.
